Our new reality

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Conversation early this morning:

He: “Today’s your blog day.”

Me: “I don’t know what to write. I feel like I should mention ‘it’ but I don’t really want to. What does it have to do with aging?”

He: “It’s our new reality.”

Right. So if I’m aiming to be specific and personal here, yes, I guess I probably should. Though it’s not a “new reality” as much as “been there before” (though not for more than 15 years by now) and we’re not at all thrilled to be back, because each occurrence is, in its way, new and unknown and this one rather grimmer than the ones before.image

So what’s this “it” I hate to talk about? Husband H. has been diagnosed with a (new) cancer metastasized to the bones. This is, at the moment, the focus of our lives, the context within which we age and look back on our accumulated pasts and forward to an uncertain future.

One of the songs he likes to listen to as he rests is “Day by Day” (“and with each passing moment, strength I find to meet my trials here…”) That’s our new mantra for the new reality of appointments, scans, biopsy, palliation/treatment meds (about which experts are optimistic), resting, and otherwise carrying on with as much normalcy as possible. Day by day…

P.S. The Ireland trip mentioned here cancelled for now.

23 thoughts on “Our new reality”

  1. Dora, I have been following your blog and so appreciating your gentle humour and insight into aging, saying yes, I agree, that’s the way it is. I’m so sorry to learn of this, your “new reality” and send heartfelt wishes that the optimism of the experts will prevail.

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  2. Thank you for being willing to share this with us, Dora. As family/friends, we will support you with our prayers as we together ‘pick up the corners of the mat’ and carry your beloved (and you!) before the Father, whose love is vast beyond all measure. May you be given strength and even joy…for one day at a time in this unwanted season. Much love to you both…Barb

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  3. Oh, I’m so sorry to hear this. If I were there, I would sing for you both.

    Roy and I will hold you in The Light as you journey through this.

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  4. I am sorry to hear this Dora. I have a colleague here who has just received similar news. Thank you for sharing this with us. That song, (Day by day and with each passing moment …) has often given me strength in difficult times. I will try to remember you in my prayers.

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  12. Sorry to hear about this twist in your paths. You will be in our prayers…..as you journey on. Please let Helmut know we are thinking about you and send him our love.

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  18. Thank you, Dora, for sharing this with us! It means so much to us who love you that you’ve trusted us with this news! I read your post and hummed through that song and prayed its reality into your reality!

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  21. Pressing ‘like’ seems so wrong for this post. Thinking of you and wishing you both courage—and support for the days when courage can’t be found. My husband is seeing an oral oncologist next week. First visit. Trying not to overthink this. One day at a time.

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